


chatroom abuse

by twilighteve



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Additional characters to be added later, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-21 10:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30020262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilighteve/pseuds/twilighteve
Summary: Huey created chat Adventuring Plans and SchedulesHuey added Dewey, Louie, Webby, Mom, Uncle Donald, Uncle Scrooge, and Mrs. Beakley into the chatDeweywhats with all the lame namesDewey changed username to coolest tripletcoolest tripletthats betterThe Duck family are in a group chat.Shenanigans ensue.
Comments: 76
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Huey: Huey  
> Dewey: coolest triplet  
> Louie: futuregazillionaire  
> Webby: Webby  
> Della: CrashLandingOnMoon  
> Donald: sea shanty dictionary  
> Scrooge: Scrooge  
> Beakley: Beakley  
> Launchpad: crashexpert

_Huey created chat Adventuring Plans and Schedules_

_Huey added Dewey, Louie, Webby, Mom, Uncle Donald, Uncle Scrooge, and Mrs. Beakley into the chat_

Huey  
hi everyone!  
please use this chatroom to talk about plans on adventuring and other personal plans  
that way we can choose when we should go next.

_Uncle Donald added Launchpad into the chat_

Uncle Donald  
launchpad is the designated pilot so he should be here too

Mom  
hey, you already have me here!!

Uncle Donald  
co-pilot then

Mom  
…  
yeah, okay

Launchpad  
thanks for adding me mr. d!

Dewey  
whats with all the lame names

_Dewey changed username to coolest triplet_

coolest triplet  
thats better

Louie  
lmao

_Louie changed username to futuregazillionaire_

_Mom changed username to CrashLandingOnMoon_

Launchpad  
you can change names?!  
how?!

Launchpad  
oh a friend just showed me how  
i’m changing my name!

_Launchpad changed username to crashexpert_

Huey  
you guys realize that all these names aren’t really the easiest to remember, right

futuregazillionaire  
you’ll get used to them

Uncle Donald:  
…

_Uncle Donald changed username to sea shanty dictionary_

Huey  
_uncle donald.  
i hoped you wouldn’t._

sea shanty dictionary  
sorry huey. i like my shanties.

CrashLandingOnMoon  
lol i’ve missed that username

sea shanty dictionary  
yee, tbt high school when all i sing was sea shanties

Uncle Scrooge  
truly a horrid time  
you cracked windows with your voice

sea shanty dictionary  
i think you meant wonderful time, uncle scrooge

Mrs. Beakley  
it was not  
i was the one changing the windows

sea shanty dictionary  
sorry mrs beakley  
i’ll do it someplace else next time

CrashLandingOnMoon  
dind;t you sing in the woods some night way back when  
and ppl thought you were a banshee

coolest triplet  
i’m sorry but do my eyes deceive me  
uncle donald sang and cracked glass then sang in the woods and ppl mistook him for a banshee??

CrashLandingOnMoon  
yes!  
uncle scrooge went to hunt the banshee but he just found donald knee deep in a creek  
just screaming absolute nonsense to the forest

Uncle Scrooge  
i believe it would be more apt to say he was neck deep, lass  
he was covered in mud from head to toe

sea shanty dictionary  
i tripped!!  
it was not absolute nonsense, it was Art™  
and you two both agree not to talk about this  
let me be the cool uncle for once

CrashLandingOnMoon  
you?? cool uncle??

futuregazillionaire  
sorry uncle donald you’re not the cool uncle  
and don’t worry about embarrassing childhood stories  
mom already told us plenty

sea shanty dictionary  
_betrayed by my own flesh and blood_

Huey  
…  
i made this chat to talk about adventuring plans.

coolest triplet  
you should have known this will happen from the start, bro  
when did any group chat stay on topic for more than  
like  
5 mins

Huey  
but still!!  
this should be a place where we all discuss and plan our next adventuring trip!

coolest triplet  
you get mom and uncle donald’s childhood story in return tho??

Huey  
…  
i hate that you just appealed to my curiosity so perfectly

coolest triplet  
:D

Huey  
_this is chatroom abuse_

coolest triplet  
:DD

futuregazillionaire  
webby has been quiet

Webby  
hjaoiuhujhtknsdfiyaigkjdsabp’’pfaufbkb;bfbshfhbjbfhafbkjaufheiuwbcmz

Mrs. Beakley  
webbigail?

Webby  
!!!  
i’m sorry!!!  
i’m still coming to terms with the fact that i’m in the same group chat with THE SCROOGE MCDUCK

Uncle Scrooge  
webby, we live together under the same roof.

Uncle Scrooge  
…did someone scream just now

futuregazillionaire  
yeah, that’s webby  
you broke her, uncle scrooge

Uncle Scrooge  
…oh, phooey.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fenton: piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
> Drake: letsgetDANGEROUS  
> Launchpad: gettingdangerous  
> Donald: living life dangerously

_Fenton created chat Double Life Blues_

_Fenton added Drake Mallard, Donald Duck, and Launchpad McQuack into the chat_

_Drake Mallard changed username to letsgetDANGEROUS_

_Launchpad McQuack changed username to gettingdangerous_

_Donald Duck changed username to living life dangerously_

_Fenton changed username to piesarethemostdangerousweapon_

letsgetDANGEROUS  
are we all seriously using ‘dangerous’ in our usernames

living life dangerously  
lmao

_piesarethemostdangerousweapon changed chat Double Life Blues name to Dangerous Quartet_

gettingdangerous  
hey, that’s a good name!

letsgetDANGEROUS  
i still can’t believe my good friend fenton, who is a sweet sumner child and a cinamon roll, is fucking _gizmoduck_ of all people  
and what’s with that username **@piesarethemostdangerousweapon**  
and technically launchpad doesn’t have a double life?

gettingdangerous  
keeping yor double lives feels like a double life.

living life dangerously  
pffft  
you think living double lives is hard??  
 _get on my level, suckers_

piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
pies ARE the most dangerous though, the sugar clogs up machineries, it gets slippery, and getting whacked in the face with a pie hurts  
but, uh  
what do you mean, get on your level **@living life dangerously** ?

gettingdangerous  
gee, i can’t even imagine what’s harder than a double life  
triple life?

letsgetDANGEROUS  
i can barely manage a single life.

living life dangerously  
mood  
but also  
i don’t know how many secret identities i have for sure lmao  
at least 4?

letsgetDANGEROUS  
ehat the fuck

living life dangerously  
but most of them happen in othrr worlds so i’m not gonna tell anyone about it  
you won’t believe me anyway

letsgetDANGEROUS  
what the fuck???

living life dangerously  
but ye thats the reason for my username  
you think double life is hard?  
 _try having a minimum of four_

gettingdangerous  
wow, mr. d! that sure is impressive!

living life dangerously  
you’re pretty impressive yourself  
keeping things secrrt from the triplets plus webby AND mrs beakley?  
i don’t envy your life

piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
oh, uh  
technicslly they know?  
well, huey, dewey, and webby know about me

letsgetDANGEROUS  
dewey knows about me

gettingdangerous  
if i know and i get to be in this chat should they be here?

living life dangerously  
NO  
THEY DON’T GET TO BE HERE

letsgetDANGEROUS  
whoa there PK. save the anger for the aliens.

living life dangerously  
not anger  
and DON’T add them into the chatroom  
do you know how long i’ve wanted a space where i can cuss for real?

gettingdangerous  
don’t you have a chatroom with della and your cousins?

living life dangerously  
that’s different  
della sometimes show the kids our chats  
i still have to be careful when talking  
i still can’t cuss

letsgetDANGEROUS  
and yet you haven’t cussed all this time.

living life dangerously  
i too can cuss!!  
f  
fu  
uk

piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
take your time

gettingdangerous  
we’ll be here all day

living life dangerously  
fuc  
…  
this is hard

letsgetDANGEROUS  
it’s? not??  
just say fuck?

piesarethemostdangerous  
shhh, he’s trying his best

gettingdangerous  
it kinda is hard  
it takes effort to say fuck

piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
yeah, i agree

letsgetDANGEROUS  
how???

piesarehtemostdangerousweapon  
have you met my m’ma  
she can and will wash your mouth with soap  
and there’s always a 70% chance of la chancla

gettingdangerous  
and i’m a senior woodchuck!  
i work with kids all the time!

letsgetDANGEROUS  
ok, fine  
but donald’s a fucking sailor for fucks sake

living life dangerously  
dang, i’ve trained myself into not cussing for the kids

piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
aww

letsgetDANGEROUS  
you turned yourself into a coward is what it is  
cuss freely my man

living life dangerously  
…  
hey drake trn on your location  
i just want to talk

letsgetDANGEROUS  
i sense that is a trick qyestion and so i will not turn on my location  
but i stand by what i said

living life dangerously  
_i’m gonna rip out your innards and string you up with your intestines_

letsgetDANGEROUS  
jesus fuck ok i take back my words

piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
…

_piesarehtemostdangerousweapon changed chat Dangerous Quartet name to Never Piss Off Donald Duck_

gettingdangerous  
can i just say, one of the junior wodchucks told me something interesting last time we camped?  
they said they want to cuss but they’re not allowed to  
so what they do insted if they feel angry enough to want to cuss  
is find creative ways to wish something bad but not really bad things to happen to someone who made them angru  
their example was  
uhhh  
if i’m not wrong, something like  
i hope your toilet paper is always soggy, or  
i hope the supernarket keep running out of your favorite chocolate milk

living life dangerously  
may drake’s next pizza be either super undersalted or super oversalted

letsgetDANGEROUS  
hey, stay away from my pizza

piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
may the next time drake want to say his catchphrase he chokes on his own spit and ruin his entrance

letsgetDANGEROUS  
>:O

gettingdangerous  
gizmo!!  
you don’t mess with the entrance!!

living life dangerously  
yeah, fenton, what the fuck??

gettingdangerous  
ooooo donald finally cursed!!

piesarethemostdangerousweapon  
this calls for a celebration!  
should we meet up somewhere for beer?

living life dangerously  
only if the place sells some alcohol free drinks  
i don’t want the kids to see me go back drunk  
gotta set a good example

letsgetDANGEROUS  
still really whipped, tho


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Donald: omw adopting your kids  
> Della: itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
> Gladstone: 4-leaf-clover  
> Fethry: i speak for the krills  
> chat name is Disaster Ducks

i speak for the krills  
guess who learned a new trick!!

_i speak for the krills sent file mitzyclipno2739.mov to the chat_

omw adopting your kids  
im sorry you have HOW MANY clips of your krill now

4-leaf-clover  
you have no place to talk abt it  
how mny clips of the triplets do you have

omw adopting your kids  
…touche

itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
is that a ball on mitzy’s head??  
did she get bigger??

i speak for the krills  
she did!!  
and she’s so smart! i didn’t get to record it but she juggled beach balls yesterday!

itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
cool  
i’m gonna show this to huey  
brb

i speak for the krills  
okay!  
speaking of, i don’t have the boys’ numbers  
mind sharing them?

omw adopting your kids  
sure, gimme a sec

_omw adopting your kids shared user contact Dewey to the chat_

_omw adopting your kids shared user contact Huey to the chat_

_omw adopting your kids shared user contact Louie to the chat_

omw adopting your kids  
do you want webby’s number too?

i speak for the krills  
yes please!

_omw adopting your kids shared user contact Webby to the chat_

4-leaf-clover  
ah yes  
donald’s four children

omw adopting your kids  
tell me when you have kids on your own  
they’ll be mine too  
anw i have to go for an interview

i speak for the krills  
oh, okay! good luck!  
what job is it?

omw adopting your kids  
some office job in an IT company downtown  
hopefully i can get a place in the accounting dept

4-leaf-clover  
good luck, cuz

omw adopting your kids  
thanks

omw adopting your kids  
so, bad news

itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
uh oh

4-leaf-clover  
you didnt get the job

omw adopting your kids  
i didn’t get the job

i speak for the krills  
aw, i’m sorry to hear that.

omw adopting your kids  
eh, its fine  
the boss seems like a douche anw

i speak for the krills  
ooo, you dodged a bullet then.

omw adopting your kids  
yeee, thank everything tbh

4-leaf-clover  
it can’t be that bad?

itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
yeah, it’s like accountimg job right  
how bad can it get

omw adopting your kids  
oh you sweet summer child

i speak for the krills  
you babes swaddled in cashmere blanket of ignorance…

omw adopting your kids  
i keep forgetting you heathens never had a lixk of work before

i speak for the krills  
be thankful you never worked retail.  
the karens will eat you up in seconds.

4-leaf-clover  
uhhh sure??  
swriously, it can’t be THAT bad??

itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
this is rich coming from the dude who quit work at retail after only a week

i speak for the krills  
it’s because i’ve had to quit after a week that i can say this, della!  
i have a weak disposition!  
people who work retail are _heroes_

omw adopting your kids  
i honestly would rather die than work retail  
 _never again_

i speak for the krills  
sometimes i still have nightmares about the karen that screamed so loud at me, my ears rang for 3 days

omw adopting your kids   
_oof_

4-leaf-clover  
you know what  
i think i’ll skip the work  
i’m lucky enough to skip that anw

omw adopting your kids  
sure rub it in our faces why dont you

4-leaf-clover  
is it rubbing it in your faces if it’s the truth  
at the very least i’m never bothered with the tax papers lol

itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
augh dont talk about papers!!  
i’m still waitung for my papers to be finalized  
they’re taking _so long_.  
i know i was gone for over 10 yrs and that’s enough to declare me legally dead  
but it’s taking them SO. LONG!!!

i speak for the krills  
your papers aren’t done yet?

itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
not yet :((  
legally i’m not alive  
i’m a zombie, guys

4-leaf-clover  
the upside is no one can do anything if you commit crimes  
what are they gonna do  
jail a dead person for jaywalking?

itscloudslayernotsunchaser  
…  
i mean that IS theoretically p cool  
i can just fly to france and raid the louvre if i want to

omw adopting your kids  
kill the world’s richest ppl, dell  
distribute the wealth

i speak for the krills  
donnie  
are you telling della to kill uncle scrooge??

omw adopting your kids  
eat the rich, feth


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huey: Huey  
> Dewey: coolest triplet  
> Louie: futuregazillionaire  
> Webby: Webby  
> Della: CrashLandingOnMoon  
> Donald: sea shanty dictionary  
> Scrooge: Scrooge  
> Beakley: Beakley  
> Launchpad: crashexpert  
> Gladstone: lucky-guy  
> Fethry: underwater science

CrashLandingOnMoon  
hey **@sea shanty dictionary** remembrer the time back in high school when you had a crush on that one guy

sea shanty dictionary  
…

CrashLandingOnMoon  
and you were so whipped you said yes whenever he needed help for anything at all

sea shanty dictionary  
della, i know what youre doing  
shut ur beak now

coolest triplet  
no pls continue

CrashLandingOnMoon  
and there was that one time he asked you to help be the school mascit in a school game

sea shanty dictionary  
della.  
i’m warning you.

CrashLandingOnMoon  
and there was that thing with the drum and the tuba  
snd you ended up basically naked in front of the whole school  
good times

Huey  
omg  
uncle donald i’m so sorry

futuregazillionaire  
sheesh, i hope our high school years won’t be that bad

Webby  
big oof

coolest triplet  
were there pictures?

CrashLandingOnMoon  
no  
which, honestly, is a shame

sea shanty dictionary  
…  
are we doing this right now, della?  
are we really?

CrashLandingOnMoon  
lol what are you gonna do anyway??  
you got nothing on me

sea shanty dictionary  
…

_sea shanty dictionary added Fethry to the chat_

_sea shanty dictionary added Gladstone to the chat_

futuregazillionaire  
uh oh that’s a war flag if i’ve ever seen one

_Fethry changed username to underwater science_

_Gladstone changed username to lucky-guy_

lucky-guy  
hi?

underwater science  
hello everyone!

sea shanty dictionary  
hey **@underwater science @lucky-guy** back me up here  
remmber the time in high school when della had a crush on that one guy and she was so moon eyed over him she crashed into a door

CrashLandingOnMoon  
wait

underwater science  
oh yeah!  
i don’t remember how it got like that but she had black eye for three days because of it, right?

CrashLandingOnMoon  
wAIT

lucky-guy  
no, that’s when she was crushing on the drama club girl who played anita in west side story

CrashLandingOnMoon   
_WAIT_

lucky-guy  
she offered to be stagehand to help with the production

CrashLandingOnMoon   
_STOP I’M SORRY_

lucky-guy  
but she wasn’t paying attention and somehow she managed to hit a hammer into her eye

coolest triplet  
ouch???

sea shanty dictionary  
ye, when she ran into a door she was mostly fine  
except she bit her tongue and gor a lisp for a bit

underwater science  
oh that reminds me of when she had a crush on the kid in the choir  
she tried to recreate that one scene from the movie, right?  
where she drove to the girl’s house and parked pretty much under her window and played cheesy music from a boombox?

Webby  
how did it go?

lucky-guy  
not well

sea shanty dictionary  
the girl’s dad got mad and yelled at della  
she ran away but not before tripping and falling to the sidewalk

Huey   
_ouch_

Webby  
i’m sorry to hear that??

futuregazillionaire  
i’m not, this is hilarious

CrashLandingOnMoon   
_gasp  
this is mutiny  
my child, on top of my brother??_

sea shanty dictionary  
play shitty games, win shitty prizes, dell.  
now everyone in this chat knows

CrashLandingOnMoon   
_mutiny, i say_

crashexpert  
i’m sorry to hear all this!  
i hope you’ll find love soon!

CrashLandingOnMoon  
thanks, i guess?  
honestly, it’s not really a priority for me anymorr  
plus being legally dead puts a damper on things

sea shanty dictionary  
speak for yourself  
i already met daisy

lucky-guy  
i honestly thought youd end up with those two guys  
frm college? red and green?

underwater science  
jose and panchito?

sea shanty dictionary  
ye i thought i’d end up with them too  
but long distance relationship is hard  
we ended things on good terms and we’re still friends now

coolest triplet  
WAIT  
UNCLE DONALD DATED JOSE AND PANCHITO?!

futuregazillionaire  
you can date 2 ppl at the same time???

sea shanty dictionary  
i did  
i thought you knew?

coolest triplet  
NO

Huey  
louie, that’s covered in jw’s sex ed pamphlet i showed you like 2 weeks ago

sea shanty dictionary  
sorry

futuregazillionaire  
sorry but your nerd pamphlet didn’t look interesting so i didn’t read it

sea shanty dictionary  
i guess i forgot to tell you

Huey  
im so disappointed in you right now.

sea shanty dictionary  
sorry??

Huey  
what?  
oh, no, uncle donald  
i meant with louie

futuregazillionaire  
which, honestly, is prerry standard fare

Webby  
how are things with daisy **@sea shanty dictionary** ?

sea shanty dictionary  
pretty good!  
she didn’t run away screaming after seeing me in a particularly bad day

coolest triplet  
like bad luck bad day or bad looks bad day or??

sea shanty dictionary  
yes

lucky-guy  
good for you! not everyone has good chances with the ladies like i do ;)

sea shanty dictionary  
i don’t want to hear this from the guy whosw latest encounter with a “lady” was when he caught magica when shr fell from the sky then promptly drop her into muddy swamp water

underwater science  
you did WHAT?

lucky-guy  
i? never told you that??

Webby  
oh, uh  
i told him when we got back  
i’m sorry, i didn’t know i wasn’t supposed to!

lucky-guy  
i’m  
it’s fine

Uncle Scrooge  
…i left to go on a meeting with my board for an hour

underwater science  
hello uncle scrooge! donald added me and gladstone!

lucky-guy  
hey uncle mcdunkle

Uncle Scrooge  
hello kids  
what in blazes did i come back to?

Huey   
_sigh_

_Huey changed chat Adventuring Plans and Schedules name to Chaos_

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me at my tumblr. [trash-raccoon](https://trash-raccoon.tumblr.com/) for my main blog and [twilighteve-writes](https://twilighteve-writes.tumblr.com/) for my writing blog.


End file.
